Quirky date sitting in front of you… do you run or do you share your quirks too? Should you hide your ‘weird’ in the early stages?

“Should you hide your weird quirks early on?  Hmmm…depends on how weird….lol”

-Jack, SALT Social

Quirky date: Imagine with me…

“Mummy, do you think unicorns are real?”

Tristen glanced over as he turned over the sample bottle of Hugo Boss cologne.  The fluorescent lights and crying children in Boots wasn’t exactly putting him at ease for his upcoming SALT date, but he wasn’t going to try and meet his potential future wife by smelling like a dirty shoe, either.

“It’s natural to be guarded until we get to know someone, but I don’t think we should actively suppress who we are either, that’s like wearing a mask.”

-Bailey

The mother snapped back at her daughter.  “No, honey, of course not.  Horses don’t have horns, unicorns are just from fairy tales.”

The girl seemed frustrated.  “But narwhals are real, and they’re just whales with horns…”

Tristen handled a few more bottles before finding the perfect scent that he felt communicated “down to earth yet interesting”, then sprayed it on his wrists, shirt, and behind his back for good measure.

He trailed the mother and her child through the store, skipping the checkout line and walking out the door into the open air.  Don’t need to buy cologne for just one date when you can just hit the samples!  He was excited to meet her and wanted to make a good first impression.

Narwhals, huh?  Tristen thought as he walked down the street to his date.  I guess if I didn’t know what they were, I would assume they were mythological creatures too.  I wonder if our future kids will say stuff like that.

To the date…

He approached the Starbucks, expecting to find his date inside, but there she was, dressed to the nines, sitting at the outside table.  She was gorgeous – blonde, sundress, big blue eyes, infectious smile beaming as he approached…

“Wow!” Tristen said.  “You’re even hotter than your pictures!”

Jasmine’s smile faded a little as she gave him a hug, suppressing a cough from the cologne.

“I believe you should be as real & authentic as possible. If they like that, awesome! If they think you’re ‘too weird’ or ‘crazy’, then it’s their loss.”

-Juan

“What are you doing out here?  Let’s get a coffee,” Tristen said.

She nodded in agreement as he went in first, making her open the door for herself.

Inside they queued together, exchanging glances more than words.  The queue got shorter and eventually she spoke up, “So what do you usually get here?”

“Oh, I don’t usually go for Starbucks.  I usually go local.”

She furrowed her brow.  “Oh really?  We don’t have to stay here, it’s okay…”

“No, no, it’s fine, just being honest,” he said.  Scrambling, he asked “what about you?”

“I like Starbucks but yeah local is great too…”  Tristen could tell she was lying.  Great start.

When it was their turn, he ordered but didn’t ask what she wanted and paid for only his drink.  She looked bewildered, but stepped up afterward and ordered herself.  Tristen stepped back and just watched her.

“Front-load the quirks. You gotta stand out from the crowd and you won’t do that by being boring and polite.”

-Matt

What happened next?

Jasmine’s expression was anything but well-mannered at this point.  “So…what is it you do for a living?” she asked.

Tristen looked offended.  Why would she ask that? What a rude question. “I told you already, didn’t I?”

You could tell that Jasmine had had enough.  “I don’t know… honestly Tristen I got all dressed up to meet you because I thought we were really hitting it off, and just in the last five minutes you’ve been really horrible to me!”

Tristen’s eyes went wide.  “Horrible?  What are you talking about?”

“You didn’t open the door, you didn’t offer to pay, you’re being combative, you’re ignoring me… I’m glad we met up honestly, because otherwise I would have kept wasting my time talking to you.”  She stood up to leave.

“Whoah wait, hold on… crap, I’m sorry.”  She paused and looked back for the last time.  “I’m an idiot.  I was following some advice I saw online about just being myself, and not trying to impress you.  So I thought this was the best way to spark a genuine connection.”

“Yourself, huh?  Well maybe you should try being a better person next time.”

And with that, she was gone, leaving Tristen in a pool of his own regret.

“Trying to get a specific outcome by trying to be too ‘genuine’ is never the right answer.  Balance with what comes naturally from you, from a loving place, and actually care about the other person.”

-Becka

“Overthinking just pushed my crushes away… just my luck.”

-Natalie

Quirky Date: What do you think?

Do you head into a date masking who you really are? Is that normal and natural? We don’t want to be the dating diva, yet we also want to show our true selves. Do you follow any advice you’ve read about how to come across well? We’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments.

Thanks to everyone who joined the conversation about your quirky date on SALT Social too.

SALT Social

Conversations like these can really help us feel connected in an increasingly solitary world.  Come connect with a vibrant community of single Christians on SOCIAL – a community feed built right into the SALT app!  

SOCIAL is the go-to space for users to connect on a fun, engaging platform that’s about sharing life together.  Ask for relationship advice, share a worship song, or post a photo of your favourite coffee spot.  And who knows, you might meet someone amazing along the way!

Join in the conversation today on SOCIAL! You’ll need to download the SALT app to not miss out.

Want to hear what our community said about whether guys should make the first move? Read it here.

Or would you like some first date tips and tricks? Read them here