It’s the age-old question that a lot of Christian singles still aren’t settled on.  Some people are taught that men are meant to pursue and make the first move, while others think it’s less straightforward.  But in an increasingly online dating world, what does that look like?  Do guys need to message first?  Be the first to ask the other out?  What does pursuit look like on dating apps like SALT?  

The way dating has changed has brought this question back to the forefront of Christian culture, and we decided that the best way to discover what people thought was to ask our wonderful users on the SOCIAL network!

Crowdsourcing

The answers we got back are quite interesting.  Some said yes, guys should step up, while others said either can be the initiator.  A few of them even said that women should get the ball rolling!  One noticeable trend was that it was primarily women who said that men should lead, while it was mostly men who disagreed.  Really makes you wonder – has our dating culture changed, or do people just do things a little differently online?

Here’s what our SOCIAL users had to say:

Christine

I think both sides should be intentional. I’m more traditional and believe that the man should initiate. As ladies, I also feel that we can invite the man so that he’s more confident that his efforts and feelings will be reciprocated. Nothing like chasing a woman that doesn’t know what she wants!

Derek

It feels nice if a lady makes the first move. Guys get rejected all the time and that can be tiring too.

George

Honestly, dating is hard enough, so there is no need to overthink it. I think both men and women should just approach someone if they are interested and not sabotage themselves with arbitrary expectations of how things should be done.

Alison

There is something very attractive about a man who takes the initiative 🔥

Juan

It’s easier online, but in person there can be a lot to lose from asking a woman out – especially if there is an established friend group or you’re in the same church, where things can become awkward. Whether IRL on online, there needs to be healthy communication prior to asking out.

Reyna

I think men taking the first initiative is important, but I don’t think it should be a standard always.

And remember, knowing how to pray for your future husband is an essential skill, no matter who leads the charge. If you want to take the initiative yourself, you can find a godly man IRL or you can find a godly man on apps like SALT. Remember, you’re not helpless in the process, even if you do want a man to take the lead!

SALT Social

Conversations like these can really help us feel connected in an increasingly solitary world.  Come connect with a vibrant community of single Christians on SOCIAL – a community feed built right into the SALT app!  

SOCIAL is the go-to space for users to connect on a fun, engaging platform that’s about sharing life together.  Ask for relationship advice, share a worship song, or post a photo of your favourite coffee spot.  And who knows, you might meet someone amazing along the way!

Join in the conversation today on SOCIAL! You’ll need to download the SALT app to not miss out.

Sometimes Christians give cliche answers in Christian dating. If you enjoy a laugh read all the Christian dating cliches here.